Not in My Job Title (extended)

More! Theres always more. My job never endeth, and neither does the range and fluidity of the position. Included some of the most pointless, inane and just silly conversations.

"How deep is the lake?"
(Me) Well, its low at the moment because the pump isnt working, but its about 5 foot at its deepest.
"It looks deeper than that."
(me) Yeah, well, theres muck on the bottom, so, its acrually deeper than it looks.
"Yeah, it looks deeper"
(Me) Wait til it fills up. Deeper still.
"Yeah, that'd be deep."

Shoot me now.

"I cant find a bin."
(me) Oh, there arnt any. We like people to take their rubbish with them, the house would never have had bins around anyway, so its original fabric."
"Well, its really inconveniant. Can you take this?"
(me)........ the rubbish? I.....just give it to the gate house when you leave, sorry, i have nowhere to put it.
"*SIGH!* Fine"

Im not a bin! Im not hiding one in my pockets either you horrible harridan, christ.

Maybe these are amusing and maybe they arnt, but it saves on therapy so....cheers! And sorry if i offend anybody.